That girl

When does admiration turn into jealousy?

I have so many friends who are beautiful people. Take Cass, for instance. Cass is pretty, and she can make anyone laugh. She knows all the best places and all the funniest people, when you are with her, you WILL have a good time. All through middle school and highschool, the boys I liked were crushing on Cass.

Or how about Lisa? Lisa is GORGEOUS, skinny, and has this kind, sweet demeanour. I mean, yeah, she can be a total bitch, but for the most part, she's amazing. As sisters, we were always that sterotypical pair - the older sister who is gorgeous but empty-headed, and the younger sister, who is opinionated and makes you laugh. But boys don't care about laughing...or at least, with us they never did.

And the ones who are so talented - Rach, Lyssa, Carrie. Rach and Lyssa have these gorgeous poems, this amazing ability with words that I just lack. And Carrie draws like..well, like it's what her arm was meant to do.

Don't get me started on Carly. She's so pretty, in that awful accidental way...she gets out of the shower and looks amazing. And she looks good in everything she wears, AND, AND she can sing like you wouldn't believe, AND she can draw....and she has this artistic taste that makes me feel like a rounded corner, with my little Green Day cds .

You see what I mean? They are all so beautiful, all people I love being around, but it all makes me feel so small, like a round little river pebble surrounded by gemstones. Because I have never been the girl that guys pine after, I have never been the girl who knows all the cool people, or the girl whose voice makes you stand still in your steps, waiting for the next note. No one is thrilled by the chance to know me, no one is enamoured of me. I guess we can't all be amazing, but still, it makes me feel so plain.....I want to be that girl.