battle royale?

So...Ry and I are getting pretty close.

How can we not, right? He just met my boyfriend (went well) everytime we hang out, we pretty much just talk for hours about our deep feelings and stuff n junk....and I see him several times a week, we talk on facebook...he considers me a close friend, I consider him something of the like. The greatest thing is, it's not just me wanting to hang out...he plans things too, he calls me too, he messages me too. For once, I feel like someone wants to be my friend, instead of me trying so damn hard to keep my grip on them. He's basically in my top five right now, of closies - Chad, Cass, Lita, Ry and Cody. People who know things - you get it.

So we're talking lat night and Pj comes up, and Ryan tells me that he heard something about Pj from Jess V. , and I was like 'WHAT? He talks to her, and not me?'...I went on a very unflattering rant that I will not repeat, because Pj and I were once close, and now we're not, and it sucks. So. Today, Pj called me while I was at work. And I texted Ry and asked if he had said anything, and he said no....so we got into a whole conversation, and stuff, and then I had to go back to work.

So Ryan texts me later today, and is like 'Hey, I'm at Joe's and Pj is here!' Joe just so happens to live in the same development as Cass, who I was hanging out with later tonight. So while I'm waiting for Cass to get home, Ry texts me again and is like 'If your plans don't work out, or whatevs, you can totally come hang out here.' Which is awkward, because I've never even MET Joe, or Mike, or Mike's girlfriend, and so half of the people there I do not know well. And I'm like '...maybe?'

So I went. I stayed half an hour-ish, while Cass ate dinner, and it was weird. Pj and I talked for maybe five minutes, and it was stilted and awkward, while Ry helped Joe and a few other kids get firewood. When Ry came back, he sat with me and we talked, and it was like....comfortable. And nice. I was totally uncomfortable, and then I just wasn't. I don't know if I'm sad or happy...Pj doesn't remember where I work or the color of my eyes, he doesn't recall the edges of my personality, which is heartbreaking, to me. We were so close, once. But Ryan can make me laugh in an instant, knows the names of the kids who bug me, can tell when I'm uncomfortable. I have lost, and I have gained. It was just weird. I thought Pj's would be the most comforting face, but it wasn't.