I had an amazing weekend...friends over, went out a bunch, really loved it. I baked and I tanned and I've been feeling really good about life, this weekend. But today.
Today I woke up and started cleaning everything. Bugsy won't stop texting me, and all I could think about were the people I missed. I miss Lisa...summer was our time. We used to lay out by the pool, we used to let the radio play. We used to love this time of day, when it's hot and lazy. And my mom.....the farmer's market will be in the square in a few weeks, but she won't be there. I don't know why that thought hurts more than anything else has, but it does.
So they got home from camping and it was just...why didn't you do this, you did this and this and this wrong, why didn't you do that? Go do this now, but do this too, and my dad parked my car because no one would tell me where to park it, and he parked it a fucking ditch. My car, my baby.......they know how careful I am with it, how protective I feel, and I trusted him and he parked it in a fucking ditch, right by the trees with the blowing and the scratching.....
i just...she makes me feel like I can't do anything right. I try so hard every time to clean the way she wants, and it's always wrong, but if I don't try she gets even angrier, and it's just so frustrating. I just want to do it right, and I never can.
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